Showing Kids Care and Compassion This Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is special for couples and loved ones but also for families with children. It offers a great teaching moment for parents to share the importance of being loving, kind, and caring with their kids.

Demonstrating it yourself is the best way to teach your children kindness and compassion. According to Psychology Today, your children’s ability to care about others must be nurtured by you in their early years and woven into your family’s life. The wonderful thing about compassion is that there are so many conduits through which you can communicate its messages to your kids. Immerse them in messages of sympathy to ensure they understand its meaning. Here are the best ways to show your children care and compassion on Valentine’s Day.

Spend Quality Time Together

One of the best ways to show love is through quality time. Life can feel hectic between getting the kids ready for school, rushing to work, dealing with colleagues, and rushing home. We often focus on our obligations and lose touch with our desires, but what’s important is spending quality time together.

This Valentine’s Day, show care and compassion with your kids by spending quality time together. Sit down with them and do an activity they enjoy. Is your daughter into coloring? Get two books, sit on the floor, and color together. Does your son enjoy Legos? Dump out a new set and assemble it together.

Getting on the floor with your kids literally puts you on their level. It creates a bond and special connection between you and your child. When in doubt, get on your child’s level, join their world, and let go of yours, which shows care and attention to your kids on Valentine’s Day and in general.

Give a Special Gift

Not all holidays require gift-giving, but Valentine’s Day is a great occasion to give your child a little extra something to show you care. Gifts can be valuable as your child learns and grows, shaping their love language. “The Five Love Languages” from Gary Chapman’s book are acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and gifts. These describe how we feel loved and appreciated, varying by personality and upbringing.

How you raise and love your children impacts their growth and how they show love to others. If you value gift-giving, you can pass that on to your child. If you value physical touch, i.e., hugs, kisses, and reassuring squeezes, your child may associate that with love and care.

Valentine’s Day is a great holiday to share your understanding of love with your child. It can shape their life more than you realize.

Write a Special Note

Depending on your child’s age, sending a handwritten note or a unique Valentine’s Day card is a great way to show love and compassion. “Words of affirmation” is another love language; they are important for showing care.

Write a note to your child detailing why you love them, why they’re special and deserving of love, and how much you love them. Notes of affirmation, love, and encouragement will boost your child’s self-esteem, build confidence, and foster positive feelings about themselves and others.

Encourage your child to write their own notes or Valentines to show love and appreciation. This fosters appreciation for connecting with others and sharing kindness. Plus, it’s a great activity to do together and make a yearly tradition.

Listen

One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is listen to your child. Give them space to talk, encourage them to speak freely, and listen attentively. This is especially important for children, as their days are spent under the care and instruction of others, so they are often on the receiving end of the conversation, with limited chances to voice their opinions and be truly listened to.

It’s often said that your undivided attention is the greatest gift you can give another person. Really listening and giving the speaker your full attention can be very meaningful.

Listening to your child without judgment or expectation demonstrates care and compassion, and your child will notice it. Encourage them to speak often, ask open-ended questions, don’t interject even when they pause, and follow up with gentle questions like “How did that make you feel?”

Another excellent tactic for communicating with your child and building their self-esteem and compassion is to ask questions with positive intent. Instead of asking, “How was your day?” ask, “Did you have a great day today?” These subtle positive undertones will register in your child’s brain and help them become more optimistic.

Teach Your Child About Judgment

Psychology Today defines compassion as understanding another person’s or oneself’s emotional state. Genuine compassion means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, empathizing with their situation, and helping them. Showing compassion involves shifting your perspective on others and their intentions. Instead of assuming the worst about people (e.g., “they’re rude” or “they’re selfish”), imagine that they have a good reason for their actions. This helps them internalize a more considerate attitude.

This Valentine’s Day, teach your child compassion by discussing judgment of others or making assumptions about their actions, emphasizing that we don’t always know what’s happening in people’s lives. For example, even though they see their school teacher every day, they have an entire life outside of school, with a family of their own and their own set of problems, struggles, and challenges.

Teach your child to see people as whole individuals, not one-dimensional beings. This will help them understand human nature and the true meaning of compassion.

Practice a Random Act of Compassion

It’s harder to plan “random” acts of compassion. One of the best ways to teach your children to care is by showing it firsthand. They may listen to your words, but they learn from your actions.

According to the Huffington Post, you should stop and assist when you see someone needing help. That action can teach kids how random acts of compassion work. Ensure the environment is safe and handle the situation authentically and compassionately. After helping, explain to your child why you did it. Sometimes, people need help, and you can lend a hand.

It’s okay that you can’t plan for these teaching moments. There’s never a right or wrong time to show compassion; your kids can learn from this, too! You can always choose to be kind and do the right thing, no matter how busy you are.

You can also look to other experiences, like watching TV, movies, or reading books where characters show compassion. Point out instances and explain how a character’s action was kind. Use various sources, including real-life examples, to teach your child the value of compassion. You never know what might resonate with them. As all children learn differently, sharing various examples increases the chances the lesson on compassion sticks.

Volunteer Together

Another way to demonstrate compassion and caring for others is by showing your child the importance of volunteering. When children are involved in showing compassion, they learn and internalize this value.

Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show compassion to others in a way that your child can participate in. We’ve compiled a list of 30 community service ideas for kids and other tips for making a difference. You could assemble crafts or care packages for deployed soldiers, volunteer at a food donation facility, or visit a nursing home.

Another way to volunteer and show compassion is at home. Your home is already a safe and supportive environment, so it’s the perfect place to teach difficult lessons on compassion. Consider fostering or adopting a pet if it’s financially and situationally feasible. Children can create special bonds with animals, and having a family pet will allow for lessons around care, kindness, and compassion.

There are many ways to use Valentine’s Day to teach your child the importance of care and compassion. The key is spending quality time together to allow teaching moments. Devote the day to authentic connection, and let lessons of care and compassion unfold naturally.