Margaret spent years working as a court-appointed counsel in juvenile dependency proceedings. She saw firsthand the challenges, trauma, and uncertainty children face when removed from their homes. Eventually, she felt called to step out of the courtroom and into a more personal role—providing the safety, stability, and love those children needed.
Through All For Kids, Margaret became a resource parent. The agency’s Social Workers, training, and support groups surrounded her with encouragement and guidance as she navigated the emotional and legal complexities of fostering. Over time, she’s cared for 2 children, Maddy and Christopher. Margaret cared for Maddy until she was ultimately adopted by extended family members. Afterwards, Margaret adopted her son, Christopher. Today, she describes her experience with All For Kids in one word: Safe.
Could you introduce yourselves and share a bit about your family? My name is Margaret, and I’m a single mom through foster care and adoption. I first became a resource parent in 2020, and over the years I’ve cared for two children. The first was a little girl, Maddy, who lived with me from the time she was just a week old until she was nearly two, before transitioning to live with her extended family.
Today, I’m the proud mom of my son, Christopher, who I welcomed from the hospital as a newborn. He just turned four, and he fills our home with energy and joy. Christopher loves dinosaurs, cars, and all things ocean-related. Together, we celebrate our family’s unique story by talking about how he came into my life, how Maddy is thriving with her family, and how love makes a family, no matter its shape.
How did you find All For Kids and why did you choose to foster or foster-adopt through this agency? What was your experience like with All For Kids? Through my employment, I was aware of different foster agencies throughout Los Angeles County. When I decided to apply to be a resource parent, I reviewed every agency that offered certification in Los Angeles County. A close friend was a resource parent with Children’s Bureau, later All for Kids. In reviewing all the available agencies, I chose All for Kids because I felt it matched my needs and values.
My experience working with All for Kids has been incredibly supportive. Caring for a child involved in the child welfare system as a single parent, working full time with family living an hour away can at times be isolating. I had previously worked within the child welfare system so I was aware of the legal, practical, and societal aspects, but living through the process while meeting the needs of vulnerable children can be challenging, confusing and frustrating. The legal process can be intimidating, discounting, and overlook the individuals meeting the needs of the children who are the subject of the proceedings. Where I felt discounted and ignored through the legal process, I felt supported by the agency that licensed me as a foster parent. The support groups were crucial to my survival as a caring and resourceful resource parent. I would not have been able to endure the challenges faced by the children in my care without the support of the Social Workers and team members of All for Kids.
If you could describe your experience with All For Kids in one word – what would that word be? Safe.
What inspired you to become a resource parent and how has it changed your life? I decided to become a resource parent for two reasons. I wanted to parent and after not discovering a partner to parent with, I chose parenting for children who were in need of love, care, and affection. I previously worked as court appointed counsel for parties in juvenile dependency proceedings. I chose to change the subject of my professional work due to the mental, emotional, and physical toll from working within the child welfare legal system. I knew there were children within my community that were in need of safety and security. I knew there were children who had been removed from their home, were in different environments, scared and afraid. I knew I wanted to be a parent and there were children who needed the safety and security of a permanent home that was needed for the time needed. While I chose to no longer work within the child welfare system in a professional capacity, I endeavored to provide care for children involved in the child welfare system.
Being a resource parent has changed my life in innumerable ways. I believe it has made me kinder, more patient, understanding, empathetic, child focused, and driven in my own personal life. Being a resource parent has exposed me to experiences and understandings I never otherwise would have been exposed to.
What was the process of becoming a resource parent and how long did it take? For me the process of becoming a resource parent was fairly quick. The decision-making process for me took longer than the period of time to be certified. I attended the orientation, met with a Social Worker for home study assessment, completed paperwork. It may have been less than 60 days. The delays were on my end, taking time with paperwork. The agency was very efficient.
How have you helped the children transition back to their families? What was that like for you? Helping a child transition to family has been one of the most difficult experiences of my adult life. I provided care for a child for nearly the first two years of her life from when she was 7 days old until she was 20 months old when she began living with family. For the particular situation for the child living with me, she lived with and was adopted by her maternal aunt and uncle she had never previously met. I worked to ensure a transition plan was in place to help her adjust to the newer individuals in her life. The child living with me was born in February of 2020, and COVID lock down began in March of 2020. We isolated together in my one-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles. I facilitated weekly video visits with her relatives living out of the country. At the time, I discounted the importance of this time. When she met them in person, she recognized their voices, and I realized the video visits were helpful to help familiarize her with these new individuals in her life and transition into her new parents’ care.
While the process was difficult and at the time I had my own concerns about changing where she was living and whom she would be adopted by, I truly believe and know she is where she should be. She is thriving and enjoying life. She is surrounded by loving and supportive parents and family members. Transitioning her to live with her family was an educational experience.
What were the birth parents/family like and how much contact do you have with them? How did you incorporate the birth parents/family into your child’s life? For the first child living with me, I never met her mother and there was no information regarding her father. When her adoptive parents arrived in Los Angeles for her to begin to live with them, I learned of family within the near geographical region. Other than her adoptive parents, there was no other engagement with me and any other relatives, although she had an extensive family circle. For her adoptive parents, we had weekly video visits. Her adoptive mother requested information following medical appointments, so I emailed summaries and updated after medical appointments. I would send videos and pictures with updates about her development and milestones. For her birthday, her adoptive parents sent books, which she loved, in both English and Norwegian, the language of the country where her adoptive parents lived and where she would live upon adoptive placement.
For the second child living with me, there was no family contact.
What challenges have you faced as a resource parent and what have you learned? Some of the challenges I have faced as a resource parent is time management- fitting all the needs of work, basic needs, the child’s needs, Social Worker visits, paperwork, cleaning, cooking within the 24 hours of a day. For each of the children living with me, each received specialized services. Each child had their own mental health therapist, early intervention services, and regional center assessments. For the second child living with me, he had services four days a week for the first year of his life- mental health therapy, early intervention, occupational therapy, and physical therapy.
Some of the other challenges faced as a resource parent is the societal judgements of the foster care system. Sympathy for the children in foster care and statements they are “lucky” to be in such a home. The children living with me came to live with me through trauma, it was not lucky the circumstances faced at birth, all beyond their control. The societal judgements of mothers who gave birth to these children was also challenging. In my experience, each mother operated out of limited choices, making the best decisions based on circumstances at the time. One of the lessons I heard from resource parent training is that the foster care system is borne out of trauma and it truly is. While the second child living with me is my adoptive son, I am daily reminded his future with me is because there was no family that came forward. I have limited information to provide him regarding his cultural heritage and where his familial lineage is from. I often joke when he smiles or smirks, I believe there is a relative that makes the same expression. I wish I knew who that relative was or information for him to have contact with his extended biological family. I have the documents provided at adoption, I wish there was more information I could provide.
I have learned how to be a better parent experiencing the challenges. One lesson I learned early on is when others ask who the child is, I reply I am a foster parent. It is a statement about me and not them.
What advice would you offer to other families considering fostering or foster-adoption?
The advice I would offer to other families considering fostering and adopting, which is the advice I have given, is to know your limitations. I was aware of the legal aspects of the child welfare system and still it was difficult for me to navigate the process as a care provider. It is an emotionally, physically, and psychologically draining process. It can be highly frustrating, but it also is life changing, inspiring, and the most fulfilling challenge I have encountered in my life. To know I have had a positive and memorable impact on a child’s life makes all the challenges seem miniscule. While it was difficult to have a child leave my care, the time and memories of her time with me are priceless, immeasurable, and personal to me.
Tell us about your child today and their interests. Christopher turned 4 years old 9-17-25. I remember the day the Social Worker through All for Kids accompanied me to the hospital to pick him up. For each child in my care, an All for Kids Social Worker met me at the hospital. It was an incredibly supportive and highly valuable experience for me.
Christopher likes to play with dinosaurs, cars, and all ocean animals.
How do you celebrate your family’s unique story with your child? One of the ways we celebrate our unique family is we talk about Maddy, the other child who lived with me before Christopher and how she is now living with her family. Christopher knows I did not carry him in my belly, he has another mother who carried him in her belly. Christopher knows I went to the hospital and he has lived with me since.
We have recently become actively licensed resource home and in discussing why we are putting up baby gates, locked on cabinets, we talks about how other children will come to stay with us. It is a way to talk about how Christopher came to our home, how Maddy is living with her family, and other children will stay with us. It helps explain the broader idea of family and that family takes different forms. Christopher physically is unlike anyone else in my family, but the love shared between them all knows no difference.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your journey or experience? . I highly recommend All for Kids for their experience and support. I would not be where I am today as a parent and individual if it were not for the agency. I cannot say enough positive things about every aspect of All for Kids.